I posted this about a week ago on Facebook, and I’m in a slightly better place emotionally (just slightly, not much). But I decided to post it here, too, because a friend suggested that it might encourage someone else who is feeling the same way. So, if you, like me, have MDD (major depressive disorder) or any other form of depression, you’re not alone. ❤️ We’re going to get through this. We’re going to find our healing. We just have to keep fighting. ❤️
Here’s the original post:
I know I’ve probably mentioned this plenty of times before, but I love quotes. I have notebooks full of my favorite quotes everywhere. Well, I have this one in almost every writing notebook I own because it’s one of my absolute favorites. And I like to look at it, especially when I’m hurting.
You guys know I don’t like to talk about this. It usually takes me until after I’m starting to come out of it to find courage to tell anyone. But I’ve been fighting through a particularly rough patch of depression for the last month or so. And when I say “particularly rough,” I don’t say that lightly. Even after so many years, there’s still so much shame around mental illness and suicidal thoughts that I can’t bring myself to reach out to people, even when I know I should. My books are helping me work through that shame—but still, it’s a lot easier to say that a character is feeling a certain way than to admit that you are.
There were a couple of weeks this month when I thought I was coming out of it, but every time, I’d just wind up plummeting back to where I was before. I’ve been feeling a little better today, and I’ve been writing surprisingly well today. (And good writing days have been very hard to come by lately.) So, I’m really hoping this isn’t another one of those false alarms—where I’m just going to fall into that dark place again before the end of the night. But for now, I’m just going to keep hoping really hard and keep writing. And wait for the writing to heal me, like it always does. ❤️
And just in case you can’t read my handwriting, here’s the quote:
“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think, if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.” – Alice Walker (author of The Color Purple)