Happy National Coming Out Day to everyone who is coming out, already out, or not ready to come out yet! No matter which category you’re in, you’re just as valid and just as worthy of acceptance and love. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Sometimes, hiding the truth from others, or even yourself, is a matter of survival, and sometimes, coming out is a matter of survival. When I first came out to a few people I trusted, that’s what it was for me—a last ditch effort at just…surviving. I was so suicidal, and I felt like holding the truth inside had poisoned the air I breathed. But I also didn’t feel safe coming out to most people I knew. So, I came out to only a few people—people that I knew weren’t cruel or hateful, people who didn’t make me afraid. And it saved my life.

Eventually, I’d written books about queer women and had enough of an online presence that most everyone knew, and there was no point in hiding it anymore. And that was so freeing! 💙 But in the beginning, it was terrifying.

I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t STILL terrifying.

I’m sharing this for this reason: if this is you, if you feel like you’ll die if you have to bottle it up for one more day, but don’t feel safe coming out, let me know. I’ll be your substitute friend or family. I’ll tell you you’re perfect, just as you are, and worthy of love, just as you are.

Because I’ve been there, and someone did the same for me. We lose too many LGBTQ people to suicide, and I desperately don’t want that to be you. No matter who you are, I want you to know that I love you and want you to be here. Take care of yourselves, whether that means coming out or not. 💙